


Boom Boom Bust

by PsychoCrazyHoseBeast



Category: Total Drama (Cartoon)
Genre: Action and Comedy, Friendship, Gen, Team Escope, outsider pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-25 22:26:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18172250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychoCrazyHoseBeast/pseuds/PsychoCrazyHoseBeast
Summary: Tim the Teller is an average man with an average life. That is, until three teenagers walk into his bank...





	Boom Boom Bust

Tim was an average man. When he was younger, it had used to bother him how he wasn’t the smartest or the sportiest or the best looking. He never finished last... but he never finished first either. Now however, 29 and considerably more mature, he had accepted his average-osity. He had an average sized house, was married to an average woman named Patricia, and would not doubt end up with the average 2.1 kids when they finally decided to start a family.

Tim’s day had started in the average way. A commute of 54 minutes, including a train and walking, to his job at the Royal Canadian Bank. He’d arrived on time, as he did everyday. He’d greeted Janice, Simon and William, before taking his place at his usual kiosk. Being a bank teller was that average mix between boredom and excitement, seeing as he got to interact with a lot of different people but those interactions were highly scripted.

Today, it was just past 10:30. Tim had happily settled into what promised to be another day of safe, predictable average-osity. Then, at 10:37 on the dot, _they_  burst through the door. Well, to be precise, one of them burst through the door. As if the violence of her action was not shocking enough, the teenager proceeded to let loose a piercing cry somewhere between a chimpanzee’s whoop and an ice cream truck’s jingle.

Tim knew it was rude, but he couldn’t help but stare at the teenager. Every inch of her screamed the opposite of average. Despite it being Canadian midwinter, she was wearing a bright green top that showed off more skin than some bras. Tim couldn’t even _name_ the foreign looking garment wrapped around her lower torso and legs. Her head was framed by hair that seemed to both defy the laws of gravity and never have met a brush in the entirety of it’s existence. A smile that should have been physiologically impossible stretched across her face, eyes a shade of green that certainly wasn’t natural shining in excitement. And, in the few seconds that Tim had been watching her, she’d been almost vibrating with energy the whole time.

Behind her came two other teens, one being half dragged by the other. The drag-ee, a scrawny teen of Asian descent, was dressed more to Tim’s tastes at least, with a sensible blazer and shirt combo. Unfortunately he seemed to notice Tim’s eyes on him, as he turned to face him. Dark eyes screaming boredom locked onto Tim’s own as the teen raised his brow. Tim just knew, there and then, that he’d met the human embodiment of sarcasm, without a word ever having to leave the teen’s lips. 

At first Tim had thought the drag-er was another male, purely because they reminded him of the football jocks of his high school days. But, on second glance the teen, while impressively muscled, had a decidedly female figure. Her outfit was somewhere between that her of two companions in terms of conspicuousness, deep navy sports gear that would have blended in perfectly at the gym but was somewhat out of place in the lobby of a bank. Tim glanced at her face, but quickly flicked his gaze away when confronted by the burning anger he found there. No, Tim did not want to become the target of that anger, he knew that already.

The first teen to have burst through the doors glanced behind herself to the other two, still grinning.

“Come on you two! Keep up!”

Then she turned and skipped over... directly towards _Tim’s_ booth. Before she even opened her mouth to speak, Tim got a sinking feeling. He knew, he just knew, that today was no longer an average day. Swallowing nervously, Tim began to recite his average opening spiel.

“Hello and welcome to the Royal Canadian Bank. I am Tim, what may I do for you today.”

The teen laughed, leaning onto the counter to waggle her finger in his face.

“No silly, it’s not what you can do for us. It’s what we can do for you! We, that is Eva and Noah”

She pointed to first the other girl then the guy before pointing to her own chest

“And Izzy are here to help the Royal Canadian Bank. You see, today... there will be a ROBBERY! You don’t have to worry though, we’re going to stop it.”

Tim blinked. The girl, Izzy, seemingly satisfied with her explanation, skipped off to investigate the potted palm tree in the corner of the bank. He turned to look at her companions. The one who’d been introduced as Eva merely scowled and folded her arms across her chest, but with a sigh the one she’d called Noah elaborated.

“Trust me, you know about as much as us. Unfortunately this isn’t abnormal behaviour for her... she’ll probably lose interest soon and then we’ll be gone. Until then, it’s easier just to let her hang around.”

Tim considered his options. A potential robbery was a serious threat, but he had been given no evidence that one was actually going to occur. The three teens, although strange, had not done anything wrong and as there were no other customers currently in the lobby they had not disrupted any business. The way Eva was looking at him, Tim had a feeling asking them to leave would not end very well. Nodding his head hesitantly, Tim indicated the worn seats in the far corner of the bank.

“I see. Well, I suppose you can wait other there then.”

To his surprise it was Eva that spoke up to answer him in a gruff tone.

“Thanks.”

She and Noah retreated to the seats and sat down. She pulled out a pair of headphones, while he pulled out a book (where exactly he’d been keeping it was a mystery to Tim) and soon both were engrossed. Meanwhile, Izzy had stopped studying the palm and now appeared to be in an animated discussion with it. Still, none of them were really causing any harm or distraction, and so Tim decided to leave them be and focus back on his work. 

Twenty two customers and almost one hour later, and Tim happened to glance up again. Neither Noah nor Eva appeared to have move, but there was no sign of Izzy. A feeling of unease crept over Tim, but he pushed it down. There was probably an average explanation for it. She must have gone to the bathroom. Yes, the bathroom. That made sense. She would probably be back any minute now. At that moment another customer arrived, and so all thoughts of Izzy disappeared from Tim’s mind.

Twenty more minutes passed in blissful average-osity... until Tim reached over to pull open a drawer in his filing cabinet to be greeted by Izzy’s wildly grinning face. Tim responded in the only natural way. He screamed like a small girl, before passing out in a dead faint.

...

Gradually Tim became aware of voices talking above him. At first the only words he could make out was “hammer” repeated over and over, but as his wits returned he could make out the actual words being spoken.

“I wonder if he’ll do it again if I ask him?”

“If he had a heart condition he could have died. How did you even get in there in the first place?”

“Don’t worry Noah, I checked his medical records before coming here. He doesn’t have any heart conditions, a clean bill of health. His dental record on the other hand, oh boy...”

“Please tell me you didn’t hack into the Medicare database _again_...”

“Shut up, both of you! He’s waking up...”

Tim blinked his eyes open to see three faces peering down at him, with expressions ranging from disinterest through mild concern to... whatever Izzy’s manic grin counted as. Hastily sitting up, Tim shuffled back to put a little distance between himself and the redhead.

“What... what happened?”

“Don’t you remember? You passed out. Down like a log! It was awesome.”

Izzy started to giggle uncontrollably, but was silenced by a swift jab in the ribs from Eva. Noah, grimacing somewhat with the effort, managed to sound somewhat sincere.

“We are terribly sorry Mr Tim. While Izzy can be... ah... shocking... she is harmless. Mostly. We will be leaving, now.”

Eva had already heaved herself to her feet and slung Izzy over her shoulder as if she weighed no more than a coat (and, for all Tim knew, maybe she did to someone as jacked as Eva). From where she was slung over Eva’s shoulder, Izzy pouted.

“But guys, we haven’t stopped the bank robbery.”

Eva ground her teeth together, but it was Noah who seemed to snap first.

“Izzy! There is no bank robbery! It’s all in your head, as alw-“

At that exact moment, the glass panel across the front of the bank shattered. Four figures, dressed from balaclava-clad head to toe in black wielding assault rifles stepped in over the shards.

“NOBODY MOVE! THIS IS A ROBBERY!”

As Eva and Noah looked on with their faces frozen in shock and Izzy clapped her hands excitedly, a single thought crossed Tim’s mind. He really, really missed average.

The robber who had shouted turned to Tim.

“You there! Teller! You’re going to lead us the the vault and open it up. Try anything funny and you’ll find yourself with 12 new holes, understand?”

Tim nodded, eyes fixed on the assault rifle pointed at him.

“Good. Off you go then.”

Tim shakily got to his feet and headed towards the back, followed by the speaker and one other man. The remaining two stayed behind, rifles trained on Izzy, Eva and Noah. None of them moved, Eva and Noah watching the gunmen whilst Izzy’s eyes were fixed on Tim’s back as he disappeared into the backrooms. As soon as he, and his accompanying robbers-to-be, were out of sight, she cried out.

“Now!”

With that she threw down a small sphere, which exploded in a cloud of purple smoke and glitter. When the air had cleared, Izzy was nowhere to be seen. The nearest guard took one hand off his weapon to scratch his head.

“What the...”

That was all the opening Eva needed, her right fist smashing forward lightning fast to connect with the gunman’s nose. There was a sickening crunch, then Eva followed her fist and threw herself onto her opponent. He went down in a whirl of limbs and an enraged roar.

The other gunman seemed torn, switching his aim from Noah to the rolling mass of his partner and Eva on the floor and back to Noah. Sighing, Noah rolled his eyes.

“Must I always be surrounded by idiots? You haven’t even taken the safety off correctly. Here, give it to me.”

Even under his balaclava the gunman’s sheepish expression was obvious as he handed the weapon over to Noah, who proceeded to knock the safety off... then pistol whip the gunman in the face. He collapsed to the floor, a confused look in his eyes. Noah shook his wrist to relieve it of the pain of such a strenuous action, shaking his head.

“Some people really are stupid. I never thought I’d meet someone capable of giving Lindsay a run for her money...”

He was cut off by another roar and a dull thump. He turned around to see Eva, chest heaving, sitting with her legs wrapped around a thoroughly beaten and decidedly unconscious guard. She turned to Noah and grinned.

“That was the most fun I’ve had in ages.”

“Glad somebody’s enjoying herself, well somebody other than Izzy...”

At the exact same moment, both teens came to the same realisation. Izzy was no longer with them. Panic setting across their expressions, they exclaimed as one.

“The Vault!”

...

Tim was not aware that any of this had happened. He was currently at the vault, shaking hands slowing him down as he tried to disengage the many security measures. One of the gunmen jabbed him in the back with his rifle, hissing out.

“Hurry up already! We ain’t got all day...”

“Not so fast!”

Tim and both gunmen swivelled round in time to watch the grate covering the vent come clattering down, followed by a redheaded teen that Tim was beginning to wish he’d never met.

“What the?”

“Uh-huh huh.”

Izzy silenced the gunman with a finger to his lips, her voice sing-song.

“No naughty words! Now, this is your last warning. Turn yourselves over to the police right now, or I’ll have to use Glippy.”

The leader of the robbers seemed unable to believe what was happening. Scoffing, he gestured with his weapon.

“Turn ourselves in? Are you mad? We’re almost through. Ain’t nobody can stop us now. So you can take your Glippy and shove it up-“

He trailed off as Izzy reached behind her, pulling out a small device. All sleek chrome and twisted wires, and as if the lump of Semtex attached was not enough of a clue as to it’s purpose the flashing countdown on it’s front gave it away. Tim could feel another faint coming on.

“A... a bomb? Surely... surely you’re not insane enough to let it go off...”

The leader did not sound nearly as confident as he had moments ago. Izzy merely nuzzled the device, causing Tim and both robbers to flinch back.

“Don’t listen Glippy, I think you’re great.”

She turned back to face them.

“So, what’s it going to be? Turn yourselves in, or Glippy gets to go boom boom...”

...

The next hour passed in a strange blur for Tim. After the would-be bank robbers hasily surrendered, Izzy had reluctantly disarmed “Glippy” as Tim gathered up the guns. They’d returned to the bank lobby to find the police waiting, alongside the other two would-be bank robbers decidedly unconscious and a very nervous Eva and Noah. Izzy had raced over to them and grabbed both into a close hug, babbling excitedly about something called “Escope”. Although both Eva and Noah had put up token struggles, it was clear from both their faces they were relieved their friend was okay.

Then had come the police questions. So many questions. It was a testament to just how strange Tim’s day had been that the questions were the most normal part. Eventually the police had been satisfied and left, alongside the robbers, and it was just Tim and the teenagers once more. For a few awkward minutes there was silence, then Izzy broke it.

“That. Was. AWESOME! Did you see their faces? Priceless! Foiling robberies is the best! Ooo ooo, I know! We should come to the Bank every Monday! That would be great! Wouldn’t it Tim?”

Tim’s blood ran cold.

“E-every Monday?”

Izzy beamed.

“See! I knew you’d get it. Oh well, we’d better get back now. My dog needs feeding, so does Noah’s! See you next Monday Mr Tim!”

She, Eva and Noah headed for the exit, still talking.

“I’ve told you Izzy, unlike you my family has some semblance of normality and so one of my siblings will feed the dog if I’m not there.”

“Noah, I’ve told you, my dog only eats his food if it’s been prechewed and I’m the only one who will do it...”

“I still don’t get how you knew the bank was going to get robbed today...”

“Oh Eva, that’s easy. Future me left a note written on my bathroom mirror!”

 

 


End file.
